Being Black

Beauty and The Black History Extravaganza

February is Black History Month.  Once a year for the entire month "everyone" celebrates the accomplishments of African Americans or as I prefer the accomplishments of Blacks in this country.  I love this National recognition of my ancestors and I do my best to celebrate this year round.

However this year was different for me.  I wanted to expand one small town's celebration.  In my mind, this was a great idea, and I was completely thrilled at the opportunity.  Of course I have spoken during Black History month numerous times, but this task was different.  This "Black History Extravaganza" would be the "talk of the town".  I planned to expand this program beyond the boundaries of the U.S.  "My Black History Program" would be a full production including food and music from other cultures outside of the U.S.

So when my dream became a reality, my dream was more like a nightmare.  The event was set to take place on a college campus.....a private, Christian campus where black students are few.  To my heartbreak none of the students wanted to participate.  Sure they gave me a solid yes when I initially asked them to participate, but when it came down to it, all of them backed out except four.  With each student that backed out, my soul ached.  My souled weeped.  I did not understand why they would not want to celebrate the lives of those who afforded us the social freedoms we now enjoy.

My aunt, Lottie Bell, dropped out of school in the second grade because she had to start working in the fields.  I grew up in a town where everyone with the same last name as me was white because my last name was the name of my family's former master.  I carry this weight with me daily.  This weight is heavy, but I carry it with pride because I know that freedom is not free.  I carry this load with a smile because I know the value behind the load.  But apparently everyone doesn't, not even aspiring college graduates.

This pain I felt began to swallow me whole.  One night while I was in bed I began to cry from this pain.  It hurt to think that my ancestors blood was being taking in vain by my own.   While in bed I thought about Dr. King, and the journey he took.

I grew up in a town near a place where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. made several trips.  Sadly though, his final trip there he said he would not return because the people of Albany did not desire the change he wanted to bring.  You see Dr. King in his day disrupted the normalcy of the south.  And not all blacks were thrilled to see him because of that.  Granted I am far from being a Dr. King or any other great civil rights leader, but I can now relate (to some degree) of their inner frustration.  Not everyone is ready now.  Eureka!  Here is where I found my peace.

Valentine's Day Special

Jade Ladson, owner of The Special Occasion, Gives Valentine's Day Advice

www.tsoevents.com

Overview: The easiest way to ensure you get what your mate wants is to communicate with them and actually listen to what they say.

Tips for romantic gestures on a budget:

·         Have a romantic picnic at home

o   Spread out a blanket, light a fire, prepare finger foods for your meal, champagne, and chocolate covered strawberries

·         Find a cozy breakfast spot and enjoy a romantic breakfast

o   You beat all the hustle and bustle from the V-Day Dinner Crowd

o   Let us decorate your table with centerpieces, custom menus, flowers, etc.

·         Scavenger Hunt

o   Leave specific clues leading to a romantic destination and each stop along the way has a small token and a clue that gets them closer to the next destination

§  Be creative, work with some of your neighborhood vendors J

·         Romantic Dinner at Home

o   Prepare your favorite dinner earlier in the day, decorate the table, light candles turn on your favorite songs

o   Once he/she comes home go upstairs and get dressed for dinner

o   Come down and have your own waiter/waitress serve you both

§  You can hire local talent to handle this part

·         Buy her flowers {one for each year you’ve been together}

o   Give her these flowers in the morning and at the end of the night give her the missing flower in honor of your next year together

Tips for an upscale romantic affair

·         Give her a private spa day

o   Start with breakfast in bed

o   Once she’s eaten and dressed, she can proceed to another area of the house for her mani/pedi

o   Next bring her back upstairs for a facial and private massage

o   Cuddle in bed with her while watching her favorite movie

·         Hire a private chef to prepare/serve a 4 course meal

For personal advice on what to do for your special someone on Valentine's Day or any other day of the year contact Jade at www.tsoevents.com

Don't Be Scared To Fight

Thought for the Week:  Don't be scared to fight

What are you afraid of in life?  For many years I was afraid to be myself.  I am not exactly sure where this fear stemmed from, but it took over my life at some point.  And what I mean by it took over is that it disabled my destiny.  I was not living my purpose.  This made me extremely unhappy, so I began doing things to fill that void….unhealthy things.  However, no matter what I did, nothing made me happy or filled the void.  After a brush with the law I decided I could no longer live my life for other people’s happiness.  I could not afford (mentally afford) to be afraid to live my life.

I wanted to move and write.  Leaving the small town I grew up in was always a dream of mine.  However, whenever I mention moving I would allow people to talk me out of it for one reason or another.  Now do not misunderstand, I love my hometown; it’s just not the place for me to live my entire life. 

Another dream of mine was to become a writer.  For as long as I can remember I enjoyed writing.  First one act plays, then short stories, then later in life I began writing poems.  Unfortunately, becoming a writer was not something I was able to foresee considering my circumstances.  This all changed when I saw the advertisements for the motion picture, The Secret Life of The Bees.  The author of the book, Sue Monk Kidd, was from my hometown.  I thought if she can do, then so can I!

You cannot live your life afraid to live it. After all you only have one...maximize it!

When someone tries to kill your happy, give him/her a fight! I'm talking about tape up your fist, remove your earring, pull your hair back, rub on some Vaseline, look the challenge in the eye and say "Let's Go!!" Men put on your war paint, pick up your sphere, let out your battle cry, and run full speed towards the beast! Be fearless in your fight! Kill the naysayers, happy stealers, and dream crushers!! They have no place in your life! You have no space for them! This is your life, fight for it!

This week I DARE you to be BOLD and FEARLESS!  This week I dare you to chase your dreams!  Make your dreams a reality!

Everyone Gets Sad

It’s Okay To Be Sad Sometime

I have days when I am sad, I think most people have days like that.  Even though we all have our sad moments or days, society leads you to believe there’s something wrong with it.  Believing this myth I would force myself to pretend to feel a way I did not feel.  I would smother my sadness….force it back down.  I can no longer do that in 2013.  By smothering my sadness it never truly went away, instead it began to fester.  I've heard many individuals say that happiness is a choice.  This is a bittersweet statement in my opinion.  It basically says that if you’re sad it’s by choice, but it’s not that black and white.  Yes happiness is a choice, but how do you make that choice….how do you heal?

What do I have to do to become a happier person?  That’s the million dollar question!  Here are my thoughts.

First, I have to acknowledge that my pain/sadness exists.  Ignoring it will not make it disappear.  Secondly, I have to come to the realization that though it exists, it does not have a place in my future.  There is a reason this womb did not heal, so lastly I have to make peace with my sadness/pain.  So whatever is keeping me sad I have to find a way to resolve it and make peace.  This will not necessarily be an easy thing to do, but it MUST BE DONE.